Reacting To Your Comments
The necklace thing really works like this. When the couple walks out of the temple, everyone is there to greet them. So, I invited both Chris' mom and his family, so they wouldn't feel left out. When we walked out of the temple for the first time as man and wife, I walked over to Chris' mom and gave her the necklace I was wearing. It was in the shape of a heart because I wanted her to know she was in my heart the whole time. I was thinking about her. The necklace had 5 diamonds for the 5 of us. This means so much to Chris' mom Lorraine and I. It means that nothing can ever break the bond we now have. It was more special in that moment then anyone could know.I really care about Chris's mom and sisters, and we try to see them once a week. I even had a sleep over with his sisters because Chris works nights. It was a blast. I love Chris' family so much. I feel like they were always a part of me, and I would never want to loose such loving people. I don't think I was rude to Chris' mom in any way, and I am sure she feels the same way. We love each other! I am sorry if I came off bratty, but by that time, I was tired of the whole engaged thing. Being engaged sucks so bad. But being married is so worth it.
By the way…I am tired of everyone saying young people will never make it, because we can. You are just hope squashers. If you believe you can do something, and make it last forever, like me and Chris know we can, then you can't squash it. I am just saying...When you tell a child they are stupid, they are going to be stupid. But when you tell a child that they are amazing, and that they are going to go far, they will. So why are all you people calling us immature and young if you don't want us to become that? And if you do want us to become immature and young, then why should we listen to you and become that way? Just because someone failed at this before, doesn't mean we will. We are strong, and I am telling you we will make it through any thing.
I think that Chris and I will be just as good parents now, as we will be 10 years from now, because we will believe in, and love our children. They will be our whole world. If my child decides not to get married in the temple, I will be there the whole way to support them. They would be my child, and nothing will change that. I will be by my child's side, even if she gets pregnant at 16, to comfort her the whole way. NO MATTER WHAT my child does, I will still be there by their side making every effort I can to help him/her through any trial whatsoever. If Chris had decided not to get married in the temple, then we wouldn't have. But Chris wanted to, and I didn't force him in any way. This was as much his choice as it was mine. It was a 50/50 thing, and we both had to do our part.
Corinne Attaya - Thank you for your beautiful comments. We did our best to put the church in a good light when we first agreed to this. We did not realize that we would be representing the church, so that made it 10 times more stressful because we love the church so much, and would never want to hurt what we believe in. Thank you to all you nice people that said such beautiful comments. THANK YOU!!!
I think that, because of MTV, and not wanting to ruin anyone’s image, this added more stress to my to-do list then most people. Also, I think me and Chris were in charge of our situation. Everyone was happy and it all turned out very beautiful. And I say, "Let he who has never gotten frustrated, and said things that they didn't really mean, cast the first stone".
Labels: Amanda, Chris, Engaged, Engaged and Underage, Underage
posted by MTV Engaged @ 11:47 AM
49 Comments
49 Comments:
Congratulations! You did a wonderful thing. Don't listen to any of the negative comments, people who haven't been to the temple cannot understand why it is worth it. I was married in the SLC temple 10 years ago and it was the best decision I have ever made. My family was not able to come but it never crossed my mind once to not get married in the temple. They are LDS (just inactive) as well and wouldn't have wanted it any other way for me.
Hello Amanda,
Just watched your episode and thought the two of you looked great! People who are calling you bratty or say you seemed immature must not know the stress of being a bride. Those of us who have been there think you handled everything smoothly. I am almost 28, my husband is 29 and we have been together for 12 years. We've been married for six, but honestly, I think we could have done it sooner except that he had a great job in our hometown and I moved away for college, so we waited for me graduate.
I thought it was wonderful of you the way you handled your wedding choices. It is your wedding after all, and probably the only one you'll ever have, so it has to be done your way. It was perfectly expected that your wedding take place in your temple, and Chris's family needs to respect that because it follows the faith that you and Chris share. People should be grateful that you had the ring ceremony so that all could be included in the day.
My advice to you is this: listen to and respect those around you, such as your parents and in-laws, but always be true to yourselves. Big decisions, such as your careers, your home, and your children must be completely up to the two of you. If you are both ready to be parents now, fantastic. Go for it. In my case, we are just now trying to have our first child. So many relatives were disappointed these past six years that we didn't want kids yet and pushed us to do it sooner, but we both know we will be the best parents we can be because we alone set the time-line. Good luck to you both!
I just want to say that I understand what you are going through! I am 20 and my fiancee is 22 and we're getting married this may in the Manhattan temple. my whole family is LDS and only his mom is! They're from new jersey. I'd always planned on getting married in the Salt Lake temple, but his dad won't fly out here if he can't even go to the wedding, so we agreed to fly out there. only my parents and my sister will be able to be there along with his mom. My family has given me a lot of crap about getting married back east where no one can go instead of getting married where all of the family can go. but its true what you say, its my wedding not theres! and we're excited to get married in new york city! :D
I totally agree with you! If you tell someone they are too young to get married and tell them it will fail, it will, but if you support them, then it will last forever! I am also LDS and know exactly the way you view marriage! I know you will make it last forever because you have an understanding and attitude towards it that not a lot of people do! good luck!
I wish you the best of luck as parents, and as a married couple.
Chris & Amanda,
I sure enjoyed this episode! Thank you for showing your commitment to not only the Church, but to yourself, and what you believe in. I was married in the SLC temple 6 years ago, and couldn't be happier. My parents were not able to attend, but I knew deep down inside that I couldn't have it any other way. It would have been against everything I feel and believe. I admit that it was awkward and uncomfortable at times, but now that stress and worry has all but been forgotten. Now I am left with a wonderful husband and an amazing marriage. Good luck with your future!
Congratulations! I just wanted to tell you that your marriage will not fail. I was married at 19 and we have been married for 10 years in June.
I also know how your in laws feel not being allowed to go in the temple. My sister was married in the temple at Salt Lake and we were not allowed to go. It hurts but my sister made sure she had a church wedding we could attend.
Good luck and remember that marriage is work.
Just wanted to let you both know that my husband and I got married when we were young too. He was 19 and I was 20. Many people thought we were too young and they thought we wouldn't last. Well, this past December we celebrated our 12 year anniversary and have four beautiful boys. Don't ever let anyone tell you that your feelings and choices are wrong. Follow your heart, we did. best wishes for a long and happy life together.
I still don't understand why non-members cannot be in the Temple. All anyone says on the blog is "It's hard for non-members to understand." Can someone please EXPLAIN it?
Amanda and Chris,
I can realy relate to your story more than you realize. I married young. I was 19 and he was 22. I have also been a mormon my whole life too. I married someone who converted when we were dating as well, so his parents couldn't be there either. His family thought it would never last and things started off a little rough. We have now been married for over 10 years. Was it perfect...no. We did a lot of growing up together. For some people that doesn't work but it did for us and it can for you too. I get along great with his family and we have a beautiful daughter. Good luck to you both. OH...the reason your episode caught my eye is because I know Chris's mom..Lorraine. It has been a long time but I used to work with her. I heard her voice on the preview of the episode and had to rewind it. There is no mistaking her voice. It was good to see her again (even if it is only on TV)
Congratulations! I was a little "worried" when I saw something about "the Mormons" on MTV, but I think your episode was done well and I was very impressed and amazed that you and your family were able to make it through all that pre-wedding stress with film crews along for the ride!
It brought back lots of memories (some good, some not-so-good) for me, as I was in "the same boat" when my hubby and I got married in the temple 17 years ago. My parents are not members of the Church and could not attend the ceremony. I'm pretty sure they are still upset about that, too, although we don't mention it. If we were to do it all over again, we'd have some sort of ring ceremony, too. I hope, Chris, that your mom and family felt really included after that! It looked like it went well. :-)
Now, what was it that you gave your mom-in-law, Amanda?? I saw something about a necklace, but that seemed to be right after the ceremony, not a month later, which is what the episode indicated.
i saw the show and i understand the stress you go through when trying to get stuff together. Im 18 and geting married on Aug 4th niether of are parnets know yet and i just found out that my preants arent going to be in town the weekend we want to get married but i do belive we will still get married that weekend b/c that was the date we both wanted from the being. So i think i will not have a wedding and just have a gathering after the fact to let everone see us as married but we have been thinking this for a wail b/c are familys have a big diff in them and really big in reliogn so i understand when you saw in the show its your wedding not hers i do belive i will be saying that shortly. and i think anyone you sets there mind on something can do it so i think that yall will laat forever yall look great together. Congratulations!!
Guys, I just watched your episode and totally empathize with you about people saying you're too young. I will be 27 this year and I will have been married for seven years this August. I got married in the Salt Lake Temple too and it never crossed my mind to do it any other way. Why have a till death do us part wedding when you can have the full blessings of Heavenly Father. For those who say young couples can't make it, I am living proof that you can. You have to do things your own way. I was only three weeks past my 20th birthday when I got married and my husband was only just barely 25. We were young and we made it. If you work at it, you will too.
My hubby and I were married when we were 18 and 19 years old, and now we've been married for 2.5 years. Married life is wonderful and I don't think age matters at all. You two were MATURE enough to do what is best- get married in the temple and I'm so proud of you. You were so brave to share your story with MTV. Good luck to the both of you and I wish you best. I think you will be wonderful parents.
Amanda and Chris,
When you find the person that you are meant to spend the rest of your life with, it doesn't matter if you are 16 or 60, you know you want to spend the rest of your life with them. My mom and I watched your episode together on MTV the other day and I must tell you, I wish you nothing but the best. My parents were married when my mom was 19 and my dad was 20. Sure, it hasn't been easy. Especially when it comes to raising a family and having successful marriage, but they are two of the happiest people I know today. Many of my friends have parents who have been married two or three times--but my parents have stayed together and they believe it's because of the foundation they had at such a young age. My mother is a successful psychologist and my dad is a military officer. And I think they have raised a pretty good daughter ;) Just because you start your life together at a young age, doesn't mean that you can not end it together once the journey is complete. And the journey along the way, can be beautiful. My mother told me that she can not imagine not having my dad for all these years. I am sure that one day when you look back, you will realize that getting married at 19 is not the end of the world--but it made the moments of your life complete. Given the choice, I can't say that even I wouldn't have made the same decision. If you believe in the power of love and the power of God's love, you can accomplish anything--together.
God Bless you and Chris and your life together. Lindsay
First of all, best of luck to you as you begin your journey in life together.
Amanda, I realize you must have been under stress when you made the comments you did. Funny how a time that is meant to be so joyous can cause so much stress! I thought your ring ceremony was so beautiful and so personal. I was glad you did that for Chris' family. After all, as the mother of a son, we have dreams to. Seeing our child's wedding is one of them. I know in the future you will always look back and be glad that you had that ceremony.
Chris and Amanda, you can make it--I'm living proof. My husband (also named Chris) and I were exactly like you.Engaged at 18, married at 19.We were High school sweethearts, me LDS, he not (until he converted). His family was very unhappy about the LDS wedding and him joining the church.Chris' family came around and did accept him converting. Everyone kept saying we were too young to get married, but Chris and I knew we were ready and would have a successful and happy marriage.
I am happy to report we have been married for 13 years and now have 5 beautiful children (which people still negatively comment on). We love each other more today then we did when we were married.We are the best of friends and have a wonderful life together. Sure there have been bumps in the road but they made us stronger as individuals, a couple, and as a family. I wish you lots of luck and all the best for you and your family. People always have opinions and will always choose to voice them. Let them talk but don't let it phase you. For only you, Chris, and Heavenly Father know the bond you share protected by your temple marriege. :D
Congratulations! I think being young has nothing to do with if you will be happy and make it or not. I got married at 18 and we have been married for almost 6 years now. We have two beautiful children and life is good. I was engaged at 17 and everyone thought that I was way too young, but when you know it's right, it's right. I wish you two may years of happiness.
Congratulations guys! Don't let anyone tell you your marriage will never last because you were to young. There is no "right" age to get married. No marriage comes with a guarantee. I met my husband in high school when I was 15 yrs. old. We got married when I was 19 (him 20) and we have just celebrated our 17th anniversary. We also have a 16 year old son and could not be happier!
Learning to grow together, not apart, plays an important role. Appreciate and encourage each other to grow, and remember to always "work" at your marriage just as you would anything else in life. Good Luck!!
Hey Amanda! I just want to say Congratulations! I am so happy for you and Chris to go through the Temple. Don't let people make you feel bad about it. I just went through the Salt Lake Temple myself in September 2006. I would never change it for the world. Unlike you and Chris, both sets of my parents and my husbands parents got to be there for the sealing. I am sorry for the stress you went through. Just be Blessed that you are married! :) I am happy for you.
Amanda and Chris,
First of all, Congratulations. =] There's nothing in the entire world like being married. In my opinion, one of teh very best feelings in the world.
For all those people who tell you you're too immature, don't listen. It's your hearts and your commitment to each other that's going to make it work. Not negativity from others.
My husband and I got married fairly young as well. We have been together since I was 17 and got married when I was 22. Two and a half years later we're going stronger than ever.
While neither of us are Mormon, I think I understand where you're coming from. My in laws are Jehovahs Witnesses. Honestly, it's much harder dealing with strict religions than most people realize. I guess you have to be there and go through it before one would understand, lol.
I just watched your episode and I was crying. This one was more on my level. I'm 19 too and I want to marry my boyfriend of almost 3 years, and everyone pushes that off as a bad idea. Ya'll seemed so happy, and again, it made me cry. I'm glad you and your mother in law are ok. Everyone should understand you wanting to get married in the temple...it was perfect, no? I'm happy for you guys!!!
I loved watching your episode. I just got married in November in the Salt Lake temple and I went through the same thing with My grandparents not being able to go. I know how stressed you must have been in having to deal with everyone wanting to change you plans for your dream wedding! I thought you delt with everything so well. Congradulations on your wedding!
Congratulations guys! I just watched your episode and are so happy for you. My hubby and I have been together 11 years this year and married for 7. We were 20 when we were married and the 1st thing people always say is " are you mormon?" We arent, but that is ok... Its funny how people that arent married or dont have any religious beliefs assume that if you get married young you will fail... You wont! As long as you love each other and love God things will work out. I wish the best for both of you!
I am not married but it was very nice to see that those who are LDS can have their story told also. I watched it with a non lds friend and she could not understand why she can not enter but after seeing the importance of it she gave it some thought. My mom was a convert and her parents had trouble but afer seeing my mom and dad married and happy it has changed life for us all. I wish you all of the luck in the world and I hope one day I can marry in the Salt Lake temple its my fav. I live in Idaho so it was also cool to see something close to me. Best wishes.
I just wanted to wish you two the best of luck. And YES, absolutely correct! My husband and I got married when I was only 19 and he was 21. We already had a son together. We were told all the same negative things about it also. But we now have 3 children and just this past August, we celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary!! So yes it can work> So keep your chins up, and good luck and congragulations to you both!
Congratulations on becoming newlyweds! yey-you did it, i dont understand how/why you wouldn't want to be married where that lets your family and friends involved. isn't getting married celebrating your love for one-another, committing, and celebrating this very special day with your family and friends? i understand that you have your own beliefs, but i would never tell my mother-in-law that she couldn't attend.
I just wanted to say Congrats! And you guys did an awesome job dealing with yourselves and the situations at hand.. I also wanted to offer you some encouragement, because I was 17, and my Husband was 19 when we got married.. We met when I was 8, and we've been together ever since, first as friends, now and forever as soul mates. I believe, that even when your young, and you really love eachother, you can with stand anything! We were also brought together through religion, and had some difficulties with our families feelings, and getting them all together.. but we're our own family now, it's already been years, and we have two beautiful children. So my advice to you is, follow your heart, and it will always take you back to his!
Congratulations! I too was married young. I was 20 and my husband was 21. We got married in the SLC Temple as well. We have now been married for 7 years and we have three beautiful daughters.
Some advice:
I don't think it really matters what age you are when you get married, just that you love each other and you have the same goals for life in mind. Marriage is tough at times but you just have to work at it everyday. Don't ever think that you made a mistake, just try to see how you can make a situation better.
Just always be open with eachother. Communication is a main key in marriage, both talking and listening. Humility is also a huge thing when you get married. You both have never been married before and you have never been parents before, you have to look at it as though you are learning to be married and when you have kids that you are learning to be parents. It's unrealistic to think that things should be like a fairytale all the time, just do your best.
Good Luck with your future together as a couple, family and future parents.
I just watched your show! I didn't think you were bratty at all! You just wanted everything to be perfect which since it was your wedding day which is very understandable! Congrats! And may you two have a wonderful life together filled with good memories!
Hey Amanda...I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with getting married at a young age. I was raised in a very christian family, and I plan on getting married young as well, probably sometime next year. I hope you and your husband are doing well, and congrats.
while I don't think getting married young is for everyone- I am proof that it can work. I got married at 19 and my husband was 21. i'm not going to say we didn't have real challenges- but we finished college and both went on to get master's degrees. We have now been married 10 years and are closer than ever. you have to always put your relationship first, but with that, keep your expections for each other generous. Always appreciate each other always turn to each other first and from there it just gets easier! good luck & god bless!
Congratulations!! My parents were both 21 when they got married and they have been happily married for the last 20 years. I'm sure you two will make it too!!
Congradulations! I hope that you two have a very happy life together! I know what it's like to be in love with someone, but others think that you're too young. It sucks. If you really love each other, it'll last, no matter what your age!
GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY AND KEEPING LOVING YOUR SOUL MATE MORE EVERY DAY I KNOW I AM AND WOULD BECASUE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS UP.think about it!!!
hey amanda i just watched your episoed and i thought you both will do fine i am married to my husband for two years now i was 23 and he is 32 we now have a beautiful daughter who is 9 months my family was a little upset she didnt like my husband all that well...well not at all but things worked out great they all get along better but it just takes time and i am glad to find out how everything worked out ...well is working out congrat's and i wish the both of you a long and happy life together filled with love .
what you did for lds is wonderful I just got interdused to lds 2 mths ago and since have been reading and praying my heart out! Me and my husband married at 17 and 22 and we've been married 7 years! and we remember cringing at the part wear the preacher says till death do you part and I had been thinking for years I dont want to part after death! Then a missionery called and asked to meet with my family and I aggreed! I think I read in the principles of the Gospel book or something like that about the sealing cerimony,wich included every one in my family who become mormons and go through with the ceramone any way I'm really glad you showed a way to involve the mormon side of the family and non mormon side !!we are going to go through the baptism and all the approvals to be sealed in the atlanta Temple!!Thanks a million for your story
Hello Amanda and Chris,
I am very happy for you.I wish you all the happiness in the world.The one most thing that I was impressed by was you Amanda.Even though people felt that you were to young to get married, you stayed true to yourself and how your dreams of what type of wedding you wanted.Yes there were issues involving your religion but,you have the right to have your special day turn out the way you always prayed for it to be.
Don't get me wrong I understand where Chris's mom was coming from since it was her son but, like you said it was your wedding and that you can have it anyway you want.You showed alot of maturity and if I was ever to meet you I would give you a high 5.Like I said early goodluck on your marrige and I hope you and Chris are blessed with healthy children and a wonderful family:)
Elizabeth:)
I watched ur episode a couple days ago 4 the first time !!!!! i was so intrested in what u gave Chris's mom after the show so i just had 2 come and c !! i thought it was very thoguhtful that u gave hi mom(ur mom n law) the neclace that u wore in the temple because she wasnt able 2 c it with her own eyes that was very nice of u!!! i hope u n chris's relationship works out well!!!!!!!!
Hey, just wanted to say congrats, and I know how it is to get married young and LDS. My hubby and I got married when we were 20 in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. He didn't go on a mission, instead he married me, so you know we had that little controversy going for us. But we are now 26, and have two beautiful children, things are great! I know you two will do well too, just stay strong and never go to sleep angry, stay up all night and talk if you have to, believe me it helps!
to Jenn & jake: jake when do you get out of the army? I hope you two are happy. I hope it stays that way and you two are happy for the rest of our lives.
So waht if amanda was a brat or not it's her wedding she can cry if she wants to she was the bride her mother in law had her own wedding so why can't amanda have her own i just don't get that. All you people that think she is being bratty are wrong though she was just standing up for what she wanted more brides should be that why cause 50% of people I talk to said they didn't have the wedding they want because of one person or another usually the mother in law. so i have come to the conclusion that all you people that think she was bratty and stuff is one of those people that have ruined or will ruin someones wedding have you thought about that so is amanda really the brat or are you
Hey, my name is Amanda too. My husband of nine months and I lived in BYU housing and didn't get MTV, but all my non-member friends kept telling me I had to watch the show. I hope to see it soon! My husband is a convert of two years, so when we got married in the temple, none of his family was able to come either. It was tense, but we are so glad we married in the temple. Good for you for being a great example to the rest of the world. I doubt MTV showcases many couples that weren't living together before they married. -Amanda
Hey Amanda and Chris!!!
Huge Congrats on the wedding! I just got married and it can be a stressful thing! But I thought you two handled it beautifully, and did a great job at representing our beliefs. I served with your sister in tucson, and I know she is so proud of you two!
What is the gift that u gave Chris's mom??????-Amanda
Hello Amanda,
My name is Brandy I just wanted you to know that My husband and I were married when we were just 21. April 7,2007 will be our 3rd wedding aniversary. We have two children. A 2 year old girl and a 9month old boy. People tried to tell us it wouldn't last past a year well we proved them wrong! Keep growing together and stay strong. May God Bless your new family.
Hey I just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel about people telling you that you're to young to be married. I got married when I was 18 and I thought I'd never hear the end of it. Now I'm going on 20 and my husband and I are going strong. The main key is to have great communication with each other. We talk everything through so therefore we never argue. I love him with all my heart and wouldnt have changed my decision at all. My mom was upset that I got married so early but my father was thrilled. His mom was happy but his father was not. Theres a big age difference between us and it made things even more complicating. Hes 26 and Im going on 20. I also agree being engaged sucks but being married is so worth it
Hey Amanda!
Congratulations!!! I think that you have a very good head on your shoulders! when I read about how much the necklace meant to you and your mother in law i just wanted to cry!
I'm Also LDS and I share your same views on marriage! Its something that I want forever! The First time I went into the temple, I was just amazed! it was probably one of the strongest spiritual feelings i have had!
I hope that You and Chris Continue to share such a good understanding for all the things in your life!
Good Luck with Anything that comes your way...
Sheena
First of all, congratulations on your beautiful wedding! Secondly, do you or anyone else you know have any idea what the name/artist of the song that was played during the show during your ring ceremony is? The lyrics were something like "this is our moment let it shine" or something like this. I know there are some other people out there who are also very curious about the song as well, and I will pass the word onto them. Thanks!
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