Reflections on Marriage
Jen - Thank you everyone for all the comments. Seeing other people also in our situation is comforting. I love having all the military wives write to me because, finally, I have someone else to relate to. Gee... I thought I was the only crazy one to always be on Jake's case, but for those who are also with soldiers- you have to be. I try to give him alone time with friends here in Hawaii. But when I do that, I always feel like I am missing out on the time I have with him. I try not to always want to hold him or love him because thinking about Iraq really hurts. When we hold each other at night or kiss...when I haven't seen him in a week…it is the best feeling. But I still can't imagine waiting for an entire year to do that again. Jake promised me that he will not re-enlist, so that makes me happy to hear because Iraq once is enough for me. Like he said before, I am his partner in crime and vise versa. I am so happy that we got married when we did. It gives us time to make a stronger bond before he leaves and most of all when we move back home. Advice I give to all my girlfriends all the time...If he is your best friend, your lover and you can picture a perfect family with him in the future- marry him. My favorite thing to do now that I am married is sit back and just stare at Jake when he is watching TV and dream about the best future we are going to have together. I can't wait to have a family and be the best mom and wife ever.Labels: Engaged, Engaged and Underage, Jake, Jen, Underage
posted by MTV Engaged @ 12:20 PM
56 Comments
56 Comments:
I saw your episode and I loved it...I am a young wife only 19 and dealing with a deployment right now.. i feel so lost sometimes since I decided to stay here and not go home where all my family and friends are.. I think you can do it..in my opinion its one of the hardest things but it brings you and you husband so close.. I dont think people realize how hard it is to be a military wife sometimes
My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 19. He was in the Army National Guard and got deployed right after we got married. We only had about four days together before he left for an entire year! You're lucky he's not reenlisting. I'm sure you two will have a wonderful life together.
well this is for jen, i know exactly what you are going through because i am 18 and pregnant with my first child with my future husband who is also a pfc in the army. things get rough at times but at the end of the night you know you will always love eachother and be there. even though its hard to give him freedom and time away its for the best. i know cuz i had that same problem. and it sucks but it made our relationship stronger. oh and on going to iraq, ugh trust me i know exactly how you feel. my hubby is deploying in november and thats just right after my baby is born. i know i cant do anything but support him and be there for him when he needs me. i hope everything goes well in the future for you and your husband. good luck in life!
-Roxy
Jen...even at 32 and 11 years into the Air Force career it is hard. I was flipping channels and caught the last minute or so of the episode, military life is hard not many understand but you are right to hold each other every momemnt, cherish the time with each other and make the time apart the best you can, no matter how long you are in the service it's just as hard as the first time they leave.
Keep you chin up, your marriage will be longer than the enlistment and it will all be worth it in the end.
hey guys i'm happy for you i hope i'm as lucky as you are and my relationship is as good as yours.
Hey I loved ur episode!
Being married to someone in the miitary is very hard, but know that there are many people who have gone through the same thing. Enjoy every moment that you have together and try not to fight about the small stuff. My husband deployed when I was 5 months pregnant with our first child and giving birth without him was the hardest thing. Our guys might even be in the same unit (my hubby is stationed at Schofield Barracks,HI). Just focus on the times that you are together and take tons of pictures to send him :)
Jen, I am married to a solider also and I haven't had the opportunity to see my husband go for a long time until now, he also has to go to iraq and the only thing i think about is weather or not he will come home safe. I fear and pray everyday that "GOD" will take him and bring him back safe and in one peace. I know how you feel. I also think of our children, and the only thing I fear is him not getting to know his son or to see him grow up, so I keep you and your husband in my prayers and all the other soliders and wives out there around the world. Keep faith that all will go well! GOD BLESS
I understand what you are going through. I was in the military and now am a military wife, things are much different on this end. My husband has been in 13 years. My advise to you is try to make friends, also get involved in something, there should be a support group where you guys are stationed. That will help the time go by a little better while he is gone. Always keep the faith and pray everyday, things will work out. God Bless!
I married my Sailor when I was 19, he was 20. He had been in the Navy for a year before we married, so I wasn't issued with the sea bag, they say! Well we have been married 16 years and 5 deployments later. I may not have been issued with the sea bag, but I can guarentee, I will be with him long after the sea bag in gone. The biggest thing you will always need to remember when you are a military wife is, that you will NEVER come first. You will be the most important person to him,and you will always be his "first" but to the military his service is first! As soon as you can come to terms with that, your will do fine. The military calls, and all you can do is love him, pray for him and support him.
Good luck to you both and God Bless!
I saw your episode. It was my favorite out of all of them because i know how you feel. I felt like i could relate to you and your husband's relationship before you were married. My fiancee and i have been together for about 2 years and we are getting married next year. My fiancee is in the Marines, but he's a lifer. He plans to make the marines his life career. Watching your episode makes me very happy and it give me hope for me. I'm nineteen, and though i will be twenty wen i get married, i still get pressures from my family that i am too young though by the time our wedding comes along, i will already be graduated. I am very very excited to be a military wife and live that lifestyle. But i am just extremely scared about his deployment. But I am sure that he will be fine. I just cant wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
Me and My husband got married on valentines day. He is in the airforce and im 19 he is 21. When i first saw the show with u and ur husband how he was in the army i almost cried. It hurts because they dont understand what we women have to deal with. We have to deal with most likely them getting deployed it and it hurts so much. You look around you and you see everyone goes on with their lives while your stops. Everyone tells me im so crazy for getting married young but hey that is what you do when you love someone who is in th e military. We women have to make sarifaices we have to leave our friends and familes just to be with someone you love. But im glad that show aired.
Best of luck with everything
ashley
Jenn~
Congratulations! Being a mililtary wife is not easy. I see so much of me and my husband in the both of you. Getting married young is not always easy. Lucky for me my husband has been on his own for a while. The deployment is tough I wont lie to you but only the strong survive! When your husband does deploy try not to think about him not making it home. You have to have positive thoughts, thats what keeps you from going crazy. Hang in there, you two were meant for eachother. God bless the both of you.
Hi I LOVED THE episode.........i am 18. i seen the episode and was like DAMN!! me and my hubby got married 1day before he was sent to Iraq so it wasnt a big wedding but we did it. And Jenn it WILL be tough when he deploys and stuff but if u really love him it wont matter, just have hope that he will come back. Well I guess ima go ok GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!! BEST WISHES!!!!!!!!!!!
hey! I just saw your episode the other day and it reminded me a lot of my husband and I. I'm 19 and I just got married on December 22nd. My husband, who is a marine, deployed to Iraq the first week of January. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. I deffinetly agree that the time you spend apart will make your relationship so much stronger..once you go through a deployment you can get through anything. Good Luck with everything! Stay strong!
you don't know what you got until you lose it. Treat him right like it's your last day together everyday.
Well I have not seen your episode yet, but hope to see it. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We were only married for 2 months when he was deployed to Kuwait for 6 months. We also had a newborn at this time. Then he was deployed again w/ training and everything he was gone a total of 18 months, which during 7 of those months we were able to go visit him and he was given a 2 week leave. The day my husband arrived in Iraq I found out I was expecting our second child. My husband was gone throughout my whole pregnancy, but was able to come home for 2 weeks to see our daughter born. Since he is now out of the army. It is hard to be a military wife. I found comfort in the family support group that my husband's unit had, they were a big help and ended up making 2 of the best friends I could ever have. So keep your head up!
Behind every soldier there is a girl.
She is always with him- heart and soul.
She goes through everything he has gone through.
She feels his pain, his sorrow, his joy, his longing, and his devotion.
For every minute they are apart her heart aches but she smiles.
She is a model for other girls who watch and wonder .."How does she do it?.."
She is the picture of everlasting love and fidelity to her Soldier, his cause and their country.
She is his rock, his support, his best friend, and his lover.
Her job is the hardest and most painful thing she knows.
It may also be the most rewarding
Their relationship will weather storms, cross miles and reach indescribable heights.
Not only because of who they are, but also because of the love they share.
A love that is patient, honest, true and kind.
A love that transcends the distance.
A love that is deeper than any ocean.
A love that is more abundant than all the stars in the sky and a love that is perfect in all its flaws.
Behind every strong soldier- there is a girl.. and she will always love him!!
I wish you both the best of luck!
hey jen,
i saw your episode and i think that was the best one yet..i have a sister that has a husband that in the navy and shes going through the same thing..He goes out of sea for 6 mo. or more and shes staying in pearl city ,hawaii too!
I hop you guys are having a great life...You can write to me sometimes...like on myspace
Jen and Jake i forgot to tell you guys that you made me cry. Just seeing you guys the way you are its great. I remember both of you in high school. And when jen would come to me when she had problems with all the other girls that would pick on her. ANd jake i still have a pic of me and you. You were so little compaired to me. I just cant see you too married. But i wish the both of you the best luck and hope Jake you come home safe. Also i hope you are enjoying the nice weather cause it is cold as hell down here. And if i didnt have a baby i would be there with you right now, but i have my baby boy. Jen you can do it. Keep your head up and NO MORE FIGHTING. that would be the last thing you want. Is for jake to remember that when is is deployed. Love eachohter and spend all the time you can together. AND HAVE LOTS OF SEX!!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!Keep in touch guys. love you
hey jenn,
I loved your show..you two make the cutest couple. But anyway just wanted to let you know I know what you're going through. I just turned 20, I've been married since I was 18, and my husband is currently on his second deployment. I know the first year we were married only 4 months of it we actually spent together. So it's hard but you know whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder was absolutely right. After going through all this I find it almost impossible to take my husband or any part of my marriage for granted which is an awesome thing. It's hard but true love conquers all. Just remember behind every strong soldier is an even stronger woman and that's exactly what you gotta do for him..be strong and know that it won't last forever. Take Care!!
Hi Jen & Jake I loved your show I'm a marine wife i'm getting ready to go to Japan to be with my hubby matt and he's doing alot of training for Iraq. So i also know how it is. I also don't like to talk about it.
Hey jen, I also know what your going through I married a marine i'm getting ready to go to Japan for three years to be with him. but he's doing a lot of training for Iraq. i have a two year old son that he adopted. I wish you and Jake the best and good luck.
Hey jen, I also know what your going through I married a marine i'm getting ready to go to Japan for three years to be with him. but he's doing a lot of training for Iraq. i have a two year old son that he adopted. I wish you and Jake the best and good luck.
Hey jen, I know what your going through I married a marine. i'm getting ready to go to Japan to be with him but right now he's doing a lot of training for Iraq that we also don't like to talk about. well i wish the both of you good luck and nothing but the best.
Hey! Wow when I saw your episode I felt like I was watching myself. I am 21 and so is my husband. He is in the military and is stationed at Schofield also! We live in Ewa Beach. It is kinda boring and I don't know a lot of people so I compelety understood where you were coming from when you said to him that you were bored during the week!!
I got married to a US soldier when I was 19. He deployed 4 months after our wedding. It was hard at first but I decided to stick it out on where we were stationed rather then moving back home to my hometown. I found such a great support system from other wives and I feel like I've matured and grown into a completely different person because of it. My husband is home now but looking back the deployment wasn't as bad as I expected. You'll become more independent and adapt to the situation. Just make sure you're keeping yourself busy to try and keep your mind off of it. and most importantly AVOID watching the news. A lot of what they report in incorrect. There's no other lifestyle like this and if you can get through a deployment, you can get through anything. Just don't be surprised if it's hard for your friends back home to understand what you're going through, its one of those you have to be there moments.
My husband is in the Army and we got married when I was 18. I'm 20 now and he is in Iraq. He got sent over there 1 month before he was supposed to get out of the Army and 2 months before our first child was born. It's a really tough thing to go through but it'll all be worth it once your husband is back in your arms and you guys are out of the military.
I saw your episode too and loved it. I'm 22 and my husband and I got married last August (06), when we were 21. He left for his deployment a week afterwards. He's in the Reserves so the most I ever thought about him and the army is when he went to drill a weekend out of the month. Then he had to leave and is going to be gone for a year. It sucks but it's gotten a lot easier. I'm away at grad school in New York and last semester it was touch but this semester I'm better. It's very hard being away from your spouse but it gets easier as you get through the days. All you have to do is keep praying and trust that this is all in God's plan and it will be okay.
Good Luck on your marriage you have now joined the ranks of us army wives. I was 19 when I married my husband almost 2 years ago and I could not imagine doing it any other way. We have a wonderful relationship and now a wonderful child on the way. Stand by him and always let him know how you feel cause even though It doesnt make a difference as far as the army is concerned it will help your marriage to not keep it all bottled up and he should always understand your concerns. As long as he knows that you have his back no matter what he has to go through your marriage will make it though anything the army throws at it...deployments and all!! Wish you both the best of luck!!
You guys were so cute! Congrats!
hey jen im 20 and my boyfriend in the marine crops due to leave for iraq this is his 3 time going it gets easier as they go more ofter dont worry hell be okay
Hey Jen! I am soo you! Me and my husband got married may 28th, and right now he is on his way to Afghanistan. I lived with him for about 6 months. Its soo funny watching the extra clips from your show because your apartment looked like the one we lived in-even the futon, and the whole thing with Jake spending more time with his friends and family when he came back to town-my husband used to do that too. But things changed when we got married because i could say "i am your wife now" and he would listen. Right now im living at home with my family in florida. Its the best way to go- i stay focused on school and work. If you didnt know this you can get financial aide because you are married to a soldier-i get my college paid for. Be strong, and stay focused and everything will be okay.
Julie
i loved everything about your episode! im sorry life is hard but know you have each other forever threw thick and thin!!!!!!
forever kendall!!!
I saw your episode and I thought to myself that was me three years ago. I am currently 22 years old and I have been married since I was 19 years old. I am also married to a marine!! Everyone thought we were too young and that I was throwing my life away but I am going to be graduating college this dec. with a teaching degree and my husband and I survied 2 deployments one of those deployment a year long! We are still sooo happy!! Good luck with your future and I am so glad that mtv has this show!!
I love your show. and im only young actually really young only 16 but im truely in love and no one understands it it's hard but me an him are ganna make it. hes in training right now for the air force it's hard to have time with him too so i know how your feeling. hes never around town and it's hard. but im sure you an him will make it actually i know you guys will make it.
Wedding was beautiful!! I really thought one of you would back out because of all the fighting... but you stayed strong and that showed a lot about your character and ability to keep the relationship strong. My husband and I got married when we were 20. He was in the army and served in the first four rounds in Iraq. He then came home for our childs birth. After 3 months he was called back. He lost a leg... luckily... and not his life. I want you two to sit down and discuss your feelings about combat, It will really make you feel better when he is out. I wish you two the best of luck.
I SAW YOUR SHOW AND i CAN RELATE. i HAVE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE. I WAS 18 WHEN I GOT MARRIED AND 21 WHEN I DIVORCED. I WAS A ARMY WIFE. ANYWAY THE SOLE PURPOSE OF ME WRITING YOU IS TO TELL YOU THIS. i DON'T KNOW IF YOU AND JAKE IS STILL BICKERING LIKE YOU WHERE DOING ON T.V, BUT IN ORDER FOR THE MARRIAGE TO WORK IS TO COMPROMISE, RESPECT EACH OTHER, TRUST EACH OTHER, LISTEN TO EACH OTHER AND MOST OF ALL KEEP YOUR FAMILY OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. WHEN YOU TOO ARE AROUND THE FAMILIES, RATHER YOU ARE GETTING ALONG OR NOT KEEP YOU BUSINESS AT HOME BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. I AM 26 NOW AND I CAN SEE THE MISTAKES THAT WERE IN MY MARRIAGE. LET JAKE BE A MAN,AND JAKE NEED TO LET YOU BE A WOMAN. NEITHER OF YOU NEED TO TRY TO TRY TO BE THE PARENT TO EACH OTHER. SOUL-MATES,LOVERS AND BESTFRIENDS ARE WHAT YOU NEED TO BE!
Well first Congrats on your marriage. I am almost in your situation.Im 19 years old and engaged with the love of my life. My boyfriend is in the Air Force and should be getting deployed any time now. I am so worried for him. We both really dont like to talk about it but when we do it only make me want to love him even more. We both wish you all the happiness in the world and to keep your head up...we are all in this together.
I watched the show and loved it. Its so nice to see couples from Ohio on t.v. Me myself I'm from Zanesville, Ohio and know exactly what you are going through Jen. I have loves ones over in Iraq and loved ones that just came back. You are a very blessed girl to have a husband willing to fight for our freedom.
Congrats and I agree exactly what you said about a best friend that you can picture everything with in the future cause I have someone just like your husband. You are both beautiful people and enjoy being married.
The military wife is the toughest job in the military. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and my husband retired from the Navy in 1996. He went to first Gulf War in 1990. We moved 13 times and I still can't believe that we did it all and raise 2 kids. I had many lonely nights and cried often because he used to go to sea for 9 months out of a year. I wrote him so many letters. Back then, there were no e-mails and cell phones. I'm old enough to be your mother but I was young and naive 25 years ago. I learned a lot and had to be strong for my husband. The time sure goes fast. Both of our kids are in the military now. My daughter had been in Iraq for 7 months. I hope you'll find a job and keep yourself busy, save some money too.
Please be strong, love and support your husband. I wish you best.
Hey guys its me again. It seems you didnt get my first comment. i am so proud of you guys. You look great together. And i didnt even know you were together. It must of happend when i was in cvcc or graduated already. Jen you are so pretty. you have not changed a bit. I remember when u use to let me take your car to see my old b/f. you were always looking up to me and i will never forget that. Now you need to be nice to jake. You were a little mean on the show. But out of all the shows i seen you guys were the best and i see lots of people think that too. Jen dont let those girls try to get you in. they were never like that b4 in highschool so y would they want to now. I wish i could come down and visit but i have a 2 year old boy and dont think i would be able too. But when you guys come home we are hooking up. Jake everything will be ok and you will be home b4 you know it. My uncle was sgt.DURST and he made it home safe 2 times. And you will too. Jen dont even watch the news cause it will just scare you. And jake i will have you in the my thoughts every day and night that you make it home safe. I miss you guys and cant wait to see you home. Call me anytime jen. You have my number now. And i want to keep in contact. ANd i want you guys to have some babies soon so mine can play with them. Keep your head up! Everything will be just ok. Love you guys and miss you very much.
I saw your episode and I was thinking back to how I felt when I got married. I am 16 and my husband is 22. He is in Iraq while I am dealing with our 2 kids. Even though I don't see him all the time I still keep in touch with him as much as I can. Just hang in there and everything will be okay!! <33
loved your eppisode hope you have a long and happy marriage. congrats to you both
Hey Guys! I have to tell you that your episode was my favorite because it really showed the hardships military families go through. I married my husband when I was 18 and he was 19. He just graduated Marine Corp Bootcamp and left the day after our wedding for training. It's now been 9 years and although life was tough at times, we always remembered we were best friends. He's deployed to Iraq twice and will be home in May ( I can't wait!!) I sat there watching you and it reminded me of my husband and I at your age. Hang in there and enjoy each other. You guys have what it takes!
SO..the minute I starting watching your episode I just starting crying my eyes, and every time I see it I do!!...I'm a 20 yr old marine g/f going through boot right now w/ my boyfriend of 3 years, who's 19 but it's about over and im going to see him in 17 days!!..but I just wanted to say your episode was amazing and made me feel soo much better, i'm going through the "you shouldnt marry him" thing from my mom, my sister married her marine at 19 and he's still in and she's 26! but newayz your guys episode was my favorite, it hit home!!, and u guys are sooooo adorable!!, best of luck !! keep your head up girl!
Jen,
Congrats to you! I saw your episode recently and it reminded me of my husband and myself. We dated for a few months before he was shipped to Korea. We were seperated for 4 months...he came home on leave for two weeks...we got married and he has been in Iraq since. When this deployment is over we will have been seperated almost two years. Keep your chin up girl! Being an army wife is hard...especially when you are young... but it sure makes a bad ass out of you! By the way I hope Hawaii is nice...were on our way there within the next few months.... 57th MP CO!
HeY JeN..Ur episode was a reality check for me and my boyfriend,weve put off getting married for 5 years that weve been 2-gether. Now that I'm ready to take that leap of faith he tells me that mabey he should join the army, I just don't think that I could handle waking up to see him every day to only seeing him once in a while. How do you do it? I wish u and ur husband the best in life, just remember *for every minute that u are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness*
OMG it was so funny watching your episode. You and your hubby are just like me and mine. Fight alot, but still are crazy about eachother. lol
Im 20 and im currently in a relationship...i never seen the show before until i was off of work one day and came across yours....i shed a few tears and i can relate..you and jake made getting married look so "easy"...the wedding was beautiful and yall make the cutest couple...may God continue to bless yall and I wish yall the best!
I loved your episode so much...it reminded me of me and my husband. I am 20 and my husband is 19. We got married right After I turned 19 and mu husband turned 18. We were both Military, but I recently got out to take care of 4 month old. My husband is currently deployed and left 2 weeks after his first child was born(a little boy). Don't let anyone get your spirits down about him being deployed or you both being young. We went through the same thing. We have made a year so far and still going strong. Don't let anyone tell you you are too young to know what love is. You guys will make it!!!
JEN
HI I AM AN ARMY WIFE AND MOTHER OF TWO. WE HAVE BEEN IN THE MILITARY LIFE STYLE FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS. MY FAMILY ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS TO SOON FOR US TO GET MARRIED THEY THOUGHT I WAS TO YOUNG. BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT EVERYBODY IS NOT THE SAME. IF YOU LOVE EACH OTHER AND ARE WILLING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT TOGETHER THEN YOU BOTH WILL BE FINE. JUST KEEP YOU HEADS HELD HIGH AND DONT LOOK BACK. YOU BOTH HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIVES TO BE TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER. SO JUST ENJOY EVERY MINUTE.
I just wanted to say I am a military wife also and My husband is in iraq right now. We have a beautiful baby girl. She was born after he left. But I just want to say keep your head up. I dont know if he left yet. But if he hasent the only advice i have is stay busy and stay away from the news. They seem to make everything worse than it is. It looked like your husband had the electric strawberry on his arm. lol that is what we call it. My husband has one too.
I'm 19 my husband is 20 we married 5 months ago we're in california and its only the begining we still 5 1/2 years to go he has promised not to re-enlist!! i had told my husband that we should have done that show but he reminded me how much i cried during the ceremony that would have been horrible anyways just know your not alone and be strong for eachother!!
omg...that is sooo sweet that u stare at jake and dream about your furture that is soooooo sweet and Jake should feel lke the luckest man in the world to have u and you should feel like the luckest girl in the world to have him.He is sooo sweet and 7 kids is a lot.Listen to Jake 2 or 3 kids is enough.Good luck and I love your show.I send you my love
hey i am also from ohio, columbus actually boyfriend wants to go into the military!!!! and yes this is the guy that i want to spend the rest of m life with what can i do ?
Dear Jen i am married to the navy and i to was stationed in Hawaii hawaii is what you make it. As the wife of anyone in the military you have to be there backbone and understand that there job is stressful for them just continue to love and support him. if you feel stressed out go to the military support centers they do help. well i wish you the best and enjoy hawaii like i did i get to go back in 5 months navy subs we can stay there the whole 20 years. oh by the way when and if he goes to the sandbox send him a package every chance you get they need that it puts a smile on there face cause it something from home. well good luck
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